January, 2021 byTony
There has been a story in our Dating agency lately that deserves our attention. I summarize the situation:
Antoine, this is not serious...Do you check the motivation of the girls when they register? Are they there for a serious relationship or to have fun at our expense?"
1/ Peter writes us a letter in which he complains about Yulia who, according to him, is not serious:
"You should remove her from the site, this woman is not serious. I write her a message, she answers me with 3 lines after 1 week. Moreover it is she who chose me. And you should see what she answers me... Antoine, this is not serious...Do you check the motivation of the girls when they register? Are they there for a serious relationship or to have fun at our expense?"
We can clearly feel Peter's frustration. In the same way, we feel that Peter had hopes for Yulia, otherwise his silence would not make him react in such a way.
2/ Now, read the following carefully, it's worth it.
2 months after Peter's letter, Yulia accepted a marriage proposal from one of our clients, Bernard.
It must be said that Yulia, like Peter, was communicating with several people at the same time.
So, in response to Peter, Yulia is indeed a serious girl who has registered for a serious relationship leading to marriage.
Bernard will not be able to say the contrary since he proposed Yulia in marriage 2 months after Peter's letter?
3/ But then, how do you explain that Bernard and Peter have a diametrically opposed opinion of the same person: Yulia?
Do you have an idea?
To get the answer to this question, it is important to understand a concept: Perceptual Positions. I have already talked about it several times in my videos on NLP applied to seduction.
In other words, do you have the ability to transport yourself in someone else's shoes? It may seem simple but it's more complicated than it seems at first glance.
You certainly know the saying: "Before judging a person, you should walk at least one mile in his own shoes".
4/ Let's do the exercise together:
Try to imagine that you are communicating at the same time with 2 Ukrainian members that we will call Katerina and Tatiana.
Katerina is clearly your favorite, you write her fiery letters every day. Your heart beats wildly as you write her letters that get softer and softer. Katerina seems to understand you as if you have known her forever. In short, it is total happiness with this young Ukrainian woman.
It's quite simple, with Katerina, the more time passes and the more you feel that she is the right person for you.
The language barrier no longer exists between her and you, you don't even pay attention to it anymore.
And of course, as the long-distance relationship with Katerina solidifies, you feel less and less inclined to answer Tatiana's letters...
Yet Tatiana is a good girl, you chose her.
At the beginning, on the paper, reading her profile, she really had qualities that could be a good match for you.
Soft, sporty, even had some rudiments in English to facilitate exchanges.
Katerina, by visiting the profiles, you had not chosen her, too beautiful. She seemed out of reach.
She chose you.
In short, time has done its work, a natural selection was made.
5/ Your kindness plays tricks on you...
As you are a nice person, you don't want to hurt Tatiana's feelings. You can't manage to tell her the truth.
The truth is that you are no longer really interested in her.
Even though she is a remarkable woman in many ways.
You are unable to tell her that your choice was Katerina.
So Tatiana, on her side, in ignorance, does not understand what is going on.
While the exchanges had started off at a high tempo, everything gradually deteriorated.
It's been a week since she sent her last letter and you still haven't answered her.
She doesn't understand, she gets frustrated, she ends up calling Boryslava, my wife, to ask her if the men who sign up in our marriage agency are really serious or if they are just there to have fun?
The circle is complete.
6/ Some advice
I understand Pete's frustration as he had real aspirations for Yulia.
It's really upsetting to lose an opportunity that seemed promising at the beginning.
Peter feels betrayed.
What sort of advice could we give him?
Here is one:
If the gel doesn't take (french expression), there's no point in insisting. Focus on the people who are really motivated.
There's no point in investing emotions and too many feelings in someone who doesn't share the same drive as you. You're going to waste time and energy!
And above all, don't make the mistake of focusing on one person. This strategy doesn't work, I can tell you from years of experience.
You absolutely must multiply the leads before you find the right person.
And when we talk about finding the right person, this happens after (and only after) having met her face to face.(don't fall in love over Skype meeting)
That's why our monthly subscription plan in our agency is the best solution for you. It is this formula that will allow you to multiply the tracks until you find the right one!