Breaking up with someone you love is a serious ordeal. But you can make it even more unbearable if you do something stupid. How to ruin your life after a breakup.

1. Continue to be together.

This is an obvious mistake, but your brain can mask it behind excuses like dating. And so you're already together with your mutual buddies or both having dinner, going to the movies, meeting at a bar, having a barbecue at home. From there, your emotional attachment to the former partner only increases. You also force yourself to go through hell, while trying to accept that the relationship no longer exists, and getting drunk with happiness when you say goodbye.

2. Thinking you are true soul mates

By continuing to think that you are the only person who can understand your ex-partner, you are only feeding the illusion. And all the late-night heart-to-heart conversations drag you deeper into the mire of the past. Remember that despite all the intimacy, one or both of them chose to end the relationship.

3. Write to her about everything. And as often as possible.

Write to your ex-partner to find out how they are doing. Write to tell them that you have found a job. Don't forget to tell them that you still consider them a friend. And don't forget to write again if you haven't heard from them - maybe they haven't noticed? This is a great way to be in a state of perpetual suspense and not move forward.

4. Stalking your ex-partner

First of all, this is stalking in the literal sense of the word, i.e., trying to find out where your ex-partner is by any means necessary and running into him or her by chance in a bar. That's a red flag: it smells like addiction.

The same goes for endlessly checking his social media accounts. Who is he friends with, what is he doing, what is he writing about? You hope he's still hurting, but he's probably already recovered from a breakup or even started a new relationship.

Unless you're a masochist, stop following your ex's life. At least for a while, until the initial pain wears off.

5. Speak ill of your ex-partner.

Every time you mention your ex, even if it's not in the kindest of terms, he or she somehow materializes in the present. And the more you talk about him or her (good and bad), the more you invite him or her back into your life.

Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. Your goal should be to have a neutral attitude.

6. Make it personal.

Don't make unnecessary excuses to meet when the decision to break up has already been made. Even if you have to return his stuff and get yours back, you can always ask friends for help or order a courier. Or you can throw something away: an old toothbrush isn't exactly Valentine's Day.

7. Move on to a relationship with a friend

A compensatory relationship is never a good thing. But it's even worse if you try to console your broken heart with an old boyfriend or girlfriend right after a breakup. In the end, he or she will be hurt and you will be ashamed. 

If you "suddenly" notice how cute and charming your friend is, slow down. So you don't lose him/her.

8. Dream about your ex-partner.

More often, imagine that he is in pain or that he is making a plan to get you back. And, of course, don't think that he's probably relaxing with his friends and enjoying life right now. This kind of fixation will keep you brooding over the breakup for a long time.

9. Constantly thinking about "what if."

This story is similar to the previous one. You are once again fixated on your ex-partner and tormenting yourself with disembodied delusions. But what if you are meant to be together? What if you are not?

10. Sign up for all dating services

To start a new relationship, you need to get rid of your old relationships. If you rush headlong into the search for a new partner, chances are:

you will start comparing everyone to the previous one and suffer even more ;
get into the wrong relationship with the wrong person and bleed it and bleed;
not learn from past experiences and make the same mistakes.

11. Sleeping with someone

Another good way to remember the good times with the person you love. Or to feel betrayed when feelings for an ex are still strong.

12. Savor the grief.


At first, dealing with the pain is really hard. If you get used to the idea that the main love story in your life is over and no more is expected, you will become a thousand times heavier. And meet someone new with a similar configuration in the head is very problematic.

How to improve life after a breakup

1.Avoid talking and meeting your ex-partner for at least two months.

This means protecting yourself as much as possible from accidental encounters.
If there is a chance of running into each other on your way to work, change your route. If you can meet at a store or gym, find a new place to shop and exercise.

The same goes for texting and calling. It's better to temporarily block an ex-partner on social media or delete their number from your phone than to constantly see them online or in your contacts.

It seems a little unfair, because you'll have to give up something. But it's for your own good.

2. Exercise

First of all, physical activity releases happy hormones that are very necessary for your condition. Secondly, exercising takes the pressure off your head and helps you release stress.

3. Get busy rebuilding your life.

The end of one phase is the beginning of a new one. So with the end of a relationship, you have the opportunity to change things in your life. You can start with the closet. Tear it apart and throw away anything you don't need. Or use your imagination and find a new use for them. Finding a new hobby or passion will not be out of place either.

4. Get together with your friends.

You finally have all this time to spend with your favorite friends. Make the most of it!

5. Don't look for salvation at the bottom of a bottle.

Or at the bottom of an ice bucket. Trying to numb the pain with alcohol and food has the opposite effect, you feel even worse.

It's best to do something really nice and healthy for yourself. Treat yourself to a massage, spa, beauty salon or bath. Relax, you've earned it.

What do you think you can and can't do after a breakup? Share your opinion in the comments.