Why do we need to fight jealousy and how do we do it?

Jealousy is destructive, but we often don't realize it or don't want to realize it.


Why jealousy is bad

The main problem with a feeling like jealousy is that it has nothing to do with love. We mistakenly believe that jealousy is only the consequence of tender feelings, in fact, its basis is the most common fear and exaggerated sense of ownership. We all tend to fight for "theirs", a loved one we are ready to snatch, to take away from the whole planet, but isn't love to be given? Freedom, the right to choose, the feeling of peace? It is selfish to think that if you lock up, say, the object of your love at home, he will be happy with this state of affairs.

Besides, you should know that jealousy can destroy not only your relationship, but also your health. Surprisingly, most jealous people suffer from headaches, nervous disorders and depression. In addition, morbid distrust can cause heart disease, and yet psychologists believe that the main cause of jealousy - only lack of confidence in one's own abilities.

As a rule, unjustified jealousy in time becomes a form close to paranoia. This sounds scary, but, nevertheless, according to statistics, most crimes are committed because of unreasonable jealousy, and in the best case, you are destined to become a bully at home, so if you suffer from unfounded flashes of jealousy, you must immediately begin to combat the problem.


Address your fears.

Fear should be able to look in the face, analyze all their nightmares when you can be alone with himself. Imagine what will happen if your suspicions are still confirmed, and even more if you have to leave your loved one. Such detailed reflection will give you the opportunity to realize that your fears, in fact, are absolutely empty.

Treat love as an ephemeral object. In fact, the world is set up in such a way that we cannot hold anything close to us for long, and it is known that love has a lot to do with illusion, which is already based on deception. Get a grip on it. It's not about getting to a breakup now, no. Realizing that everything, including you, is temporary will help you more easily accept the reality around you. If you live in constant fear that your husband will leave you, can you really call that feeling good? Fear of loss makes you unhappy, and so does your partner. Give yourself and him a break, enjoy the moment.

Don't compare.

The fact is that people are not marketable commodities, and it is likely that your partner prefers you to others not only for your external qualities. In other words, your nervous comparison of yourself with other members of the fairer sex, many of whom are probably superior to you in some way, will not lead to anything good.

Over the years, relationships mature to become something more than just sexual attraction and admiration for the appearance of his partner, during the time spent together, accumulated a kind of "capital", consisting of jointly acquired experience and past tests, and these accumulations trade in a beautiful face is not as easy as it may seem at first glance. 

Control your imagination

Your fantasies rob you of the ability to assess the situation soberly. This is the root of the problem. If you begin to build up images in your imagination of the supposed development of events, it becomes almost impossible to cope with suspicions. Therefore, if you yourself have noticed bouts of distrust, take it as a rule: "the first thought is a false thought until it proves otherwise." Therefore, before relying on your assumptions, put your mind in order, regain your ability to reason sensibly and objectively. Try to focus your attention on other problems for a while: organize the cleaning of your apartment, go shopping, make an appointment with the hairdresser - it will help you to distract yourself.

Trust your partner

Trust is a prerequisite for a healthy and strong relationship - it's an axiom. Often we distrust our partner, not because he or she has not lived up to our trust, but only because we feel fear and insecurity ourselves. Jealousy, in this case, is not based on anything real, but only stems from our personal feelings.

In this case, if we ourselves are masters of our thoughts and emotions, won't we start trusting the man we love with the same ease? Stop seeing his every word as a deception and put aside your eternal suspicions. Of course, suspicions are not always unfounded, but try to believe your companion, and do not suspect him of something bad, give yourself the task of not organizing "confrontation" for a month. And you will certainly have the opportunity to see that your partner probably does not want to hurt you. Learn to give freedom, and very soon your relationship will rise to a new level.