Femme fatale: how to explain this phenomenon?

The editorial staff of our magazine spoke with a relationship psychologist to understand the phenomenon of the femme fatale.

On the subject of femme fatales, films are made, novels are written, poems are dedicated. They often become the center of scandals, general jealousy, social intrigues and the cause of divorces of couples. Rare are the men who can keep a woman close to her for a long time, and when they lose her, they are long to not be able to come to their senses and assume what has happened. Moreover, this separation is most often accompanied by financial losses, betrayals, uncertainties and, consequently, a broken heart, even a life. A man who has managed to “hang on” to the relationship with the femme fatale, condemned to permanent stress, but who, like a drug addict, wants only one thing: to increase the “dose”.

How to explain the phenomenon of the femme fatale, how do these representatives of the beautiful half of humanity differ from their normal female compatriots, what are the main signs of the femme fatale and which men are inclined to become victims of this type of exquisite abuse? We asked Yulia Levkovskaya, a relationship psychologist, goal setting coach and founder of the HLP app, for a detailed explanation.

Femme fatale: from angel to bitch

“The main characteristic of the femme fatale - comments Julia Levkovskaya - is one hundred percent self-confidence and absolute conviction that she is capable of falling in love with any man. She is brilliant, often beautiful, she lies skillfully, she has a good ability to adapt, she is a talented actress, she is easily given the images of the angel to the bitch, which she does not fail to take advantage of any situation. She has a high level of intelligence - continues Julia - a prerequisite for the ability to manipulate others (and not always men). She is distinguished by her intelligence and ability to understand, at least at a basic level, the “main agenda” of men’s interests: sports, politics, culture, science, which makes such a person an easy interlocutor in the male society. She quickly knows how to turn a man’s life into an attraction or a vacation (illusively, of course, but the victim does not know it yet).

The femme fatale

“Julia Levkovskaya is a relationship psychologist, goal-setting coach and founder of the HLP app.

Such a woman differs from her female compatriots, - continues Julia Levkovskaya, - by excessive self-confidence, an easy attitude to life in combination with a certain egotism. She is an actress, a seductress, who knows the male psychology and knows exactly which “buttons” to press. If we talk about the portrait of the potential victim of such a cute predator - says the psychologist - at the forefront of the social and financial status of men (he earns money on the principle of the remainder, as the owner of the company, executive or heir to the capital). This man is no stranger to entertainment and vacations. He is often a party animal and a lover of colorful life. He is distinguished by a slight naivety, a certain romanticism, a certain dreaminess. Such a man likes intrigue and balancing in relationships: he rushes from one extreme to the other on the principle of “hot-cold”.

The femme fatale attracts such men by the fact that today she is passionate, in love and adores - says the psychologist - and tomorrow she is cold or even disappears from the life of the loved one for an indefinite period. Thus, she constantly arouses interest and “plant” a man on the “emotional needle” and dependence on her. To all of the above, it should be added that her appearance can rarely be described as mediocre. Therefore, she feels at the top in a male society, which is very flattering to the man. The presence of such a woman nearby increases his self-esteem, he perceives his companion as a trophy, decorating his wall of honor - concludes psychologist Yulia Levkovskaya.

To illustrate the type discussed, we decided to turn to famous biographies of women who, by their fate and relationships with men, represent a certain quintessence of all that is described above. These heroines can, without a doubt, be classified as notorious femmes fatales.

Femme Fatale Amber Heard. I crossed Johnny Depp off the list of rich men.

Born in Austin, Texas, Amber Heard became known less for her roles than for her stories in the press. Tabloids first wrote about her romance with Johnny Depp (at the time the actor had been in a relationship with Vanessa Paradis for several years), then about their marriage in 2015, and finally the whole world followed their scandalous divorce, which she filed for in 2016. Along with the central plot of her biography, the media reported on her relationship with the painter and photographer Tasya van Ree. The actress has spoken openly about her bisexuality. In August 2016 she announced that she would donate her 7 million dollar divorce settlement to charity, split between the ACLU and Children’s Hospital Los Angeles.

Gabor. A Hollywood lioness born in Budapest.

Born in Budapest in 1917 into a Jewish family, Zsa Zsa Gabor was married nine times. Her husbands included the hotelier Conrad Hilton, the actor George Sanders and, until her death, Frédéric Prinz von Anhalt. She joked about her divorces: “I am a marvelous housekeeper: every time I leave a man I keep his house.”

The platinum blonde with a sparkling sense of humor became one of the best-known socialites of twentieth-century American show business, famous not only for her film roles but also for her scandals, her romances with diplomats and millionaires (among them the Dominican diplomat Porfirio Rubirosa) and her many aphorisms about love and luxury. In 1958 she received a special Golden Globe award.

Her mother, Jolie Gabor, and her sisters Magda and Eva also became well known in Hollywood society. Zsa Zsa’s only child, Francesca Hilton, was born in 1947 during her marriage to Conrad Hilton. Francesca died in 2015 at the age of 67, less than two years before her mother, who died in December 2016. Her husband, Frédéric Prinz von Anhalt, reportedly never told her about her daughter’s death, to protect her health.

Brigitte Bardot. And the devil created a woman

“And God created woman”… Of course, at that time, God, or as the Roman church claimed, the devil, created Brigitte Bardot. Legendary actress and sex symbol of France in the years 60-70 of the 20th century. Her filmography has more than forty roles, of which barely three are visible at first glance, but the novels and fashionable innovations of the famous BB are still discussed today. Her image is repeatedly copied for numerous photo shoots in the glossy media. It’s her name that comes to mind when one thinks of 60’s pop culture, and Serge Gainsbourg’s single Je t’aime… Moi non plus (“I love you … I love you - too, no”), marked in the early 70’s by a quasi sexual revolution in France and condemned by the Vatican as “pornography”, was written by a famous musician just for Brigitte at the time of their brief romance. In the “record” of the actress - marriage with director Roger Vadim, actor Jacques Charrier and billionaire Gunther Sachs, novels with actor Jean-Louis Trintignant, a composer and songwriter Serge Gainsbourg, musician Gilbert Bécaud. Of all the men in Brigitte’s life, only a few managed to be the initiators of the rupture. One of them is Trintignant, who finds Brigitte superficial and decides to leave her. In most cases, the actress goes from one relationship to another, leaving behind a broken male heart. However, she managed to break the heart of her own son, born from a marriage with Charrier. According to the actress herself, it was always difficult for her to love Nicholas, because she never felt like a mother.

Anna Pavlova. The ballerina who conquered the world.

Anna Pavlova was born in Saint Petersburg in 1881. Her mother, Lyubov Feodorovna, a laundress of peasant origin, had worked in the household of the banker Lazar Polyakov; sources disagree about the identity of her father and about whether her parents were married. In 1891 Anna entered the Imperial Ballet School, from which she graduated in 1899. In 1901 Matilda Kshesinskaya, then pregnant, coached her in the role of Nikiya in La Bayadère.

She danced briefly with Sergei Diaghilev’s Ballets Russes; Mikhail Mordkin, who joined Diaghilev’s company in 1909, stayed in Paris to dance with her. After the first Paris season she left to form her own company and toured the world. Her manager and companion Victor Dandré, whom she met in 1904 (some sources say 1900), later wrote that he was her husband; according to Wikipedia they married in secret in 1914. She died of pleurisy on 23 January 1931 in The Hague, aged 49.

Matilda Kshesinskaya. The emperor’s lover.

“She perfectly took into account the strengths and, above all, the weaknesses of men, those eternally searching Romeos, who say whatever they want about women, and whose women do whatever they, women, want,” said Vladimir Arkadyevich Telyakovsky, director of the imperial theaters, who, however, was powerless to characterize the scenic talent of the dancer Matilda Kshesinskaya. The director of the theater described frequent meetings and even coded messages from the highest levels of government with the ballerina. Sergei Mikhailovich Romanov, president of the Russian theater and commander of the artillery, was always talking about the whims of his opposite number: “We have an excellent ballet and a terrible artillery”, people joked in the high society of the time. Sergei Mikhailovich lavished his beloved with jewelry, including an impressive collection of Fabergé, and real estate: next to his dacha in Strelna, Romanov built a power plant, because “Malenka was afraid of the dark. Matilda chose another Romanov - Andrei Vladimirovich, cousin of Nicholas II - and in 1902 she gave birth to her beloved son. It was to him that the ballerina married during the revolution, already in exile in France. Matilda joined the imperial family and even obtained the title of Grand Duchess Romanovskaya-Krasinskaya. In exile, the former lover of Emperor Nicholas II and some of his relatives opened a ballet studio where, according to rumors, “the grand duke watered the floor with a watering can so that the girls would not slip in their dancing shoes. The ballerina, the beautiful “apple of discord” of the Romanov family, went on stage for the last time at the age of 64 and, as expected, received a standing ovation. Thus, we can conclude that the suspicions about Russian women are justified. For more on the art of seduction through history, read about the 5 secrets of Mata Hari and the seduction secrets of famous Russian women.

Who are famous examples of femme fatales?

Famous femme fatales include Hollywood star Zsa Zsa Gabor, born in Budapest, French actress Brigitte Bardot, Russian ballerina Anna Pavlova, and Matilda Kshesinskaya who was known as the emperor’s lover. Each used different qualities to captivate those around them.

Can someone learn to become a femme fatale?

According to relationship psychologists, while some women are naturally gifted with the qualities of a femme fatale, elements of their allure such as confidence, mystery, and emotional intelligence can be developed and cultivated by anyone willing to work on themselves.

What is the psychology behind the femme fatale phenomenon?

The femme fatale phenomenon involves a combination of high self-confidence, emotional intelligence, mystery, and the ability to make others feel special. Psychologists note that their power lies in creating emotional dependency through a mix of attraction and unavailability.

Why are men drawn to femme fatales despite the risks?

Men are drawn to femme fatales because they represent excitement, challenge, and intense emotional experiences. The combination of beauty, intelligence, and unpredictability triggers a powerful psychological response that overrides rational caution.